Over the years, I had tried every kind of diet. I was successful for a couple of months, lost some weight, but the diets always restricted too many of my favorite foods (carbs, chocolate, carbs, ice cream, carbs, sweets, and pretty much everything that’s bad for you), so they were not realistic for long term goals. I crashed, burned, purged, and regained. Pretty much the way most people who try to diet inevitably fail. Well, I hate to fail, dammit, and those big, fat (literally) failures got me more and more pissed – at myself (self-esteem took a huge nosedive, as well). I could do anything I put my mind to, but not lose the weight – all the weight – for good.
You see, I am really good at psychology and I’d known all the years I was fat, what my true problem (there is always a root problem) was, I just had no motivation to fix the problem. I kept avoiding IT thinking I’d deal with IT tomorrow or the next day. However, tomorrow turned into too many years, until one day I had a revelation: being fat sucks! So I set out on my mission to NOT diet (diet is a four-letter word, you know), but rather, to eat healthier, exercise more, and have realistic expectations. I took a laid-back approach in changing my lifestyle, and figured I would let the chips fall where they may (just not so much into my mouth).
My lifestyle change rule #1: NO food is off-limits. This includes cake, candy, and Pepperridge Farm Goldfish (the snack that smiles back). Just in moderation (like no more than twice a day…seriously). Just shoot me, stab me, hurl me off a tall building now if I could never have those again (or gravely pity the people who have to live with me).
My lifestyle change rule #2: NO calorie or carb counting. I suck at math and that is the last thing I needed to send me flipping off the wagon. If I have to use the Pythagorean Theorem to figure out if I’m “allowed” to eat something or not, I going to damn well eat it all (and its closest relatives).
My lifestyle change rule #3: NEVER use the word diet. That word is taboo, and has failed me every time. Call it power of negative suggestion, but when diets have failed me before, they will fail me again (trust issues). Besides, lifestyle change is tres chic and so haute right now.
My lifestyle change rule #4: Move more and often. I have never been a lazy person, even when I was heavy, I never sat around and watched TV while eating Bon-Bons (well, I did have some Bons-Bons, but usually while I was cleaning, organizing, working or cooking dinner). I know many people stereotype fat people as being lazy, and that infuriates me (because I love to prove people wrong – that’s my drug). I knew I needed cardio workouts included in my daily routine to get my heart rate up, thus promoting the fat burning I so desperately needed.
My lifestyle change rule #5: Do NOT obsess about the number on the scale. I made a vow to not weigh myself more than twice a month. This rule came late in the game because, at first, I weighed myself too often and the weight bounced up and down like a rubber ball and just became a major source of frustration. Now, I sometimes go a month or two where I forget to weigh myself. I figure if my clothes all fit and feel good, than I must be on track and that's all I need to feel good.
My lifestyle change rule #6: Find the lighter side to life again - both literally and figuratively. Take things more in stride and try not to let stress determine when I eat (or what I eat). This is, and always will be the hardest rule to uphold, because like most women, when we get stressed our hormones immediately trigger that “go stuff your face with a bag of Oreos and it will all be better” response. I needed to wrangle those feisty pheromones (easier said than done) and put them to better use (don’t ask because I can’t promise I can keep it PG).
Now, usually I break rules (because I don’t like people telling me what I can and cannot do), but these are rules I can live with (plus, I made them up for me, so I would only be defying myself and that is so not cool). Naturally, living by these rules has yielded (almost painlessly) fabulous results. I have to say, I’m more fit now than I was in high school, and have skyrocketing energy (no drugs needed). I still eat crap from time to time, but I have struck a harmoniuos balance with my new body. When I do overindulge, I work out a little harder the next day (or days – depending on the damage), and try to eat healthier to compensate for that two pound burrito or (and) vat of buffalo chicken dip I devour.
It really doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this stuff out (or maybe it does, since I didn’t figure this out years ago). It’s as simple as calories in < calories out = weight loss. No magic pills, or special diet formulas are going to work for the long haul (believe me – been there tried that). Just simple, gradual changes will eventually bring results. Just don’t expect to have overnight results (like I used to – impatient person that I am). After all, I didn’t get fat overnight, so getting thin the right way was going to take some time. And so far, time has been my friend…
